Moe's Southwest Grill
The Height of Moe-deocrity
No such luck.
As I stood in line scanning the familiar tubs ingredients form which I would soon be creating my lunch, I noticed that all of the components look a little too much like stuff you could just buy at the grocery store. The cheese looked liked a generic bag of shredded cheese from the dairy aisle. The salsa looked like a bottle of Old El Paso spooned out into stainless steel bowl. The visual verdict: bland, unappealing, and average.
The taste verdict: the same. As I sat there eating my burrito in disappointment, I couldn't help but wonder if this is what the world is coming to. There was nothing wrong with the burrito, and nothing right with it either. I felt desperately trapped in the middle. I longed for the exciting flavors of Anna's Taqueria in Boston, or even Panchero's near my alma mater, the University of Michigan.
As my burrito began to deteriorate, rice tumbling from the top, and sour cream oozing through the tortilla, I felt myself going through the five stages of mourning. Denial and Isolation: the burrito wasn't that bad, I was being too hard on Moe's. Anger: was this the best Moe's had to offer? Was this the best Miami had to offer? Bargaining: What did I have to do to get a great burrito? Depression: perhaps it was me. Perhaps I lacked the ability to detect the quality of a burrito. Perhaps I should retire as a burrito analyst. Acceptance: finally, I sighed a sigh of submission. I would eat this burrito, but my search for Miami's best would not die as easily as I feared burrito standards had.
Welcome To Moe's Southwest GrillPhil in Miami:
Advertising works. Moe's is the first burrito joint I've ever visited based on a radio spot. They continually play the Moe's ad on my classic rock station in Miami. It begins with a crowd of people shouting, "Welcome to Moe's!" The ad claims not only that they have great burritos, but that every time you walk into one of their stores, you will be greeted by dozens of employees and patrons yelling at you. Well, how could I pass that up?
They had some award on the door when I entered. I think it was from one of the local papers for best burrito. I try not to put too much stock in those things. Seems like every other store has some award for best hamburger since the birth of Jesus, or what have you. Still, it's always an encouraging sign.
I stepped inside, no one yelled anything at me. That's fine, I wasn't really looking forward to that part.
The menu weirded me out a little. All the items had bizarre names that I didn't get like "Joey Bag of Donuts," "The Ugly Naked Guy," and "Pinky Tuscadero." In fact the menu described the odd name choice as "Nothing fancy, just names that made Moe laugh." The menu also point out Moe's 30 some-odd Florida locations as well as locations throughout the Southeast, the West, the Midwest, and the Northeast. In fact, there is a Moe's Southwest Grill in 32 states plus the District of Columbia. That made me a little weary, but I tried not to hold it against them. Anyway, it was way passed lunch time.
Check out the official Moe's Southwest Grill site here, if you're bored, or click on our menu images for a larger size.